


Some Cupid Kills With Traps

by jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm



Category: Loveless - Alice Oseman, Osemanverse
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, CW: internalised homophobia, Canon Asexual/Aromantic Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon Non-Binary Character, F/F, Loveless Spoilers, Mutual Pining, Piperooney, Prooney, Rivals to Lovers, Sharing a Bed, Theater - Freeform, Theatre, and there was only one bed, canon characters of colour, get in losers we're projecting onto pip quintana, in the past but pip is a bit sad about it, no sunil/jason sorry, pip is a tiktok lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:07:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28149570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm/pseuds/jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm
Summary: The Shakespeare Society heads to the Edinburgh Fringe Festival to perform their showcase, but for how long can tension build between Pip and Rooney before Georgia and the others decide to do something about it?
Relationships: Pip Quintana & Georgia Warr, Pip Quintana/Rooney Bach
Comments: 9
Kudos: 14





	1. You Are In Love (Georgia)

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Deutsch available: [Einigen tötet Cupid mit Fallen](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29632581) by [jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm/pseuds/jenniferdelacroix_pifflingfm)



> This fic is slightly canon-divergent: Georgia knows she's aro-ace from talking to Sunil and trying to date Jason, but the Shakespeare Society play happened without the group having drama or Pip and Rooney getting together.
> 
> Thanks so much to Eve for beta-ing and helping me research Edinburgh Fringe! You're super awesome!
> 
> If you like this, please check my Tumblr @sunil-jha and the playlist for this fic https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2LYBqf1bBZP3RAZDefTjWB?si=aDpkhcpESiG-yXWU-x1ybg

After Sunil unlocked the door to our hotel room and handed out keys, we all crowded in and looked around. It was your fairly standard hotel room with a tiny bathroom, a wardrobe-style unit with a mirror, two double beds and a sofa bed. Double beds, however, meant sharing.

Jason immediately dumped his backpack and teddy jacket on one of the beds.

"What? I'm not gonna fit on that tiny thing!" he said as we all looked slightly judgmentally at him. Rooney followed suit quickly for similar height reasons, so Pip, Sunil and I looked between us to try and decide who was going to share with who.

Pip was very pointedly not looking at Rooney, which Sunil and I noticed in a mischievous glimpse shared between the two of us.

"Well I'm gonna take the bed and share with Jason - I'm the oldest of us, my back hurts, you know how it is."

As they strolled over to the bed, Pip looked at me with agony in her eyes, but I chose to ignore it instead. I deeply loved her, however sometimes she did need a push in the right direction to actually pursue her crushes – plus, I had been the go-between for both Rooney and Pip to vent their mutual pining ever since they’d realised their crush. Pip knew pretty much as soon as she met Rooney, but the other girl hadn’t realised until they acted as Benedick and Beatrice together in our Shakespeare Society showcase; I’m convinced their chemistry was a solid reason we got picked as the Durham Student Theatre Edinburgh Fringe Selection for 2020.

“Pip, you know you can’t sleep anywhere other than an actual bed with a mattress – remember Guide Camp in Year Nine?”

“Hey, no, that was because I was sharing a tent with Kate Swann – the artist one?”

“True, true.” Pip looked triumphant for a second. “But you know I always roll over and get all tangled in duvets. Benefit of being aro-ace and not having to share a bed with someone for the rest of my life I suppose.”

She looked at me with her typical furious stare, but eventually sighed as I sat down on the sofa. “Okay. Fine. Georgia can take the sofa, and _I_ will share with _her_ ”

Throwing a glance towards Rooney, she hardly noticed that the taller girl had gone slightly red, matching her hot pink DST sweatshirt.

“I’m going to the vending machine downstairs. Need some crisps” Rooney blurted, then grabbed a key and her wallet and marched out of the room. Sunil and Jason looked at both of us and followed, muttering an agreement about KitKats.

The second the door shut Pip rounded on me.

“It was ENOUGH that I had to do those stupid scenes with her in Shakespeare Soc and now _here_ , but you’re making us share a bed? Georgia for fuck’s sake-”

I shrugged nonchalantly. “I thought ‘and-there-was-only-one-bed’ was actually your favourite romance trope, Pip.”

“No, if you knew me at all, you would know it was ‘mutual pining’!”

I tried to swallow my laughter while I pulled a green jumper from my suitcase.


	2. watch you sleep (Pip)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bed sharing, gay angst and gay panic.

I was going to kill Georgia Warr. Or maybe I’d just die and here and now from an anxiety overload of Oh My God I’m Sharing A Bed With My Crush. I could already picture my headstone: _Here Lies Pip Quintana, 2002-2020. Flustered lesbian who never made the first move._

Trying to get comfy, I rolled over and realised I was staring straight at a sleeping Rooney. Or almost staring – I wasn’t wearing my glasses, so she was still a bit fuzzy – but I suddenly understood that girl in red song “watch you sleep”. Obviously I’ve heard it before, I have a TikTok.

Honestly, I don’t know why I thought I was ever not going to fall for Rooney. She’s tall, athletic, a bit bossy, tall (she says she’s a whole foot taller than me, but really it’s only nine inches), and recently I’ve seen a softer side to her. When we were first rehearsing the play, we argued about everything. Literally – I once moved a prop chair an inch to the left and she picked me up and tried to lock me in the kitchen of the church we used for rehearsal space.

Now feels different though. We have a few petty spats every now and then, but since we had to use the last two terms to actually work hard to catch up and pass our first year exams, I rarely saw her outside of Shakespeare Soc’s weekly pizza-and-movie nights. We watched _Booksmart_ for one of them and I swear she was looking at me a lot during it – tempted as I was to snog her there and then, she’s never said outright she’s not straight, and I have plenty of experience with straight girls getting angry when they think you’re coming onto them.

Maybe I’m just imagining it though. Like I did with Millie when we kissed at that party – sure I didn’t have a Rooney-level crush on her, but it was annoying when I saw her at school the week after with her boyfriend Marc. Or when I talked to her after and she laughed and looked kind of grossed out. She just does that sometimes, it doesn’t count if it’s with a girl, she was just doing it to piss Marc off.

Or Nicola. She’s got a girlfriend now though and she’s apologised, but back then she didn’t want to be seen with me outside of rehearsals for Dracula. It’s fine, it’s cool, but I’m just annoyed at myself. It’s been a whole year of university and I managed to fall for a (possibly) straight girl within a week and couldn’t get her off my mind enough to do anything other than kiss a few girls at Pride Soc socials.

Somehow, I managed to fall asleep, and woke to an empty bed and Georgia poking my face.

“Pip? Pip! Wake up!”

“Wassatime?” I grabbed my round glasses and sat up, nearly headbutting Georgia in the process.

“Quarter past eight-ish? Are you okay, I’ve been trying to get you up for ages!”

“Oh yeah, fine, just didn’t sleep for ages. Can’t think why!” I got out of bed and stretched, trying to relieve some tension in my legs. “Where are the others?”

Georgia looked over from the mirror and blinked, adjusting to her contact lenses. “Jason’s taking advantage of the unlimited bacon and eggs downstairs, Sunil went with him and Rooney’s in the shower.”

I nodded, then quickly changed out of my Snoopy pyjamas into the classic “plaid, t-shirt and skinny jeans” combination that I packed about three of.

“I made you a coffee.” Georgia said, pointing to a mug next to Rooney’s hairbrush. “It’s shitty hotel stuff, nothing like what your mum gave me from last time she went to Colombia, but I think you’re gonna need a few today.”

I took a sip and winced. “Is this strong to you?”

“A bit” she shrugged.

“White people have zero taste, I swear to God. Take me back to LatAm Soc!”

I smiled at Georgia though – it was nice of her to think of me. She stuck her phone and a room key in the pocket of her beige corduroy dungarees. “See you later! Hopefully I can nab some muffins for rehearsal from the buffet.”

I was desperate to follow her out, but I didn’t feel like burning myself via chugging coffee and despite it paling in comparison to what I had at home, I really did need it.

“Oh, morning, I thought everyone left-” Rooney’s voice came from the bathroom; I caught sight of her, wet hair over her shoulders and only wearing a towel.

Fuck.

Thankfully, years of growing up gay and sharing PE changing rooms with straight girls had honed my reflexes of “looking away quickly”, so she wouldn’t think I was checking her out or see me going crimson. “Morning Rooney. Hope you slept well.” I replied monosyllabically.

“Yeah I did... you’re not too bad to share a bed with.” Was she trying to kill me? “Can you chuck me the clothes I left on the case? Pink sweater, yellow t-shirt, blue leggings.”

Still very much keeping my back to her, I threw the clothes onto Jason and Sunil’s bed with a spin the Ultimate Frisbee team captain would have thoroughly approved of.

A couple minutes later, Rooney re-emerged rubbing her hair with a towel and looking at me and blushing a bit.

“If you’re embarrassed about not having make-up on, I always knew your eyebrows couldn’t be that perfect.” I stated, turning to the mirror.

“No, it’s just- I don’t normally see your hair looking like that.” she mumbled.

Oh. “Yeah, well. My normal serum thing – Georgia bought it for me so I have no idea how it works – is in the bathroom, so... bedhead it is.”

“You look kinda... cute and... fluffy”

Oh. God. This was going to be a long few days.


	3. Team (Georgia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Acting and a homoerotically charged karaoke session.  
> (Plus some cameos of my friends bc I like them)

“Please try to look less like Mr Darcy taking a shit, you’re supposed to be in love!” Sunil yelled at Pip and Rooney on the stage, deliberately standing further apart than necessary for one of their _Much Ado About Nothing_ scenes. They’d always struggled with this one, where Beatrice and Benedick had to admit their love for each other – the rivalry scenes earlier in the play always seemed to be much easier for them.

After running the scene several times and Sunil sighing and suggesting they’d start drinking because of the pair’s stubbornness, we ran my Puck monologue. I really felt like Robin Goodfellow right now – my favourite Shakespeare plays always had been the romantic comedies with convoluted love plots and now I felt I was actually living in one! Not the way I’d expected, but us hopeless romantic aro-aces have to get our kicks somehow. When I finished, I bowed dramatically and looked up to see Sunil, Pip, Jason, and Rooney clapping incredulously.

“Georgia... that’s like high-key the best you’ve ever done it” said Jason.

Sunil nodded. “You really embraced the... chaotic prankster spirit, shall we say. Loved it mate, brilliant.”

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, and he looked up with excitement. “Hey so, I hope you don’t mind but a few of my friends I know from Fringe last year are around again this year, and I really want you to meet them, they’re really cool! Is it okay if I text them this address and we could do something after rehearsal?”

We nodded among ourselves. About twenty minutes later, three students burst through the door of the room we’d been assigned for practicing. The first, dressed almost entirely in yellow and quite tall, introduced herself as Victoria, the second, even taller, was Em, and the third had wavy blonde hair and was called Ellen.

“How did you all meet then?” Jason asked the visitors. He seemed happy to have people he didn’t have to look down to talk to.

“So, Vic and I were doing a university exchange here, hers was mental healthcare research, mine comparative Irish/Scottish cultural stuff, and we got involved with the theatre stuff here and ended up being picked for Fringe!” Ellen began, pointing between the three of them.

“I’m from the UoB drama soc by the way, but we actually met each other and them,” she gestured to Sunil. “at a podcast event for Universe City – turns out we’d all been reblogging posts off of each other on Tumblr this whole time!”

Jason looked quizzical. “I didn’t realise Sunil was at Fringe last year.”

“Yeah, they were playing the cello for the Durham Improvised Musical” Vic replied.

“You need cellos for the DIM?”

“Come on Jason, don’t be cello-ist!” Pip elbowed him, and Sunil looked over from where he’d been stacking chairs and rolled his eyes.

“It’s cellist! You should know this by now” they sighed, and everyone burst out laughing.

Anyway, after Sunil finally tuned back into what we were talking about, we agreed to get food together and go clubbing for a bit – Ellen had apparently found the good gay bars last time she was there and wanted to force us to do karaoke together. Everyone seemed pretty stoked for it, but Rooney was quieter than normal. I hoped the rehearsal hadn’t stressed her out too much – she always got a bit like this before performing.

So that was how I found myself sipping a cider and watching Victoria, Em, Sunil and Ellen scream a tipsy rendition of “All Star” by Smash Mouth, and Ellen doing a frankly disturbing imitation of Mike Myers’s accent. Jason and Sunil went next, singing Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” – although Sunil hadn’t been drinking, they’d eaten a lot of my veggie Percy Pigs throughout rehearsal and got hyped up on sugar, so started laughing hysterically at the “sex machine” bit of the song.

When the others called me to do a song next, I smiled to myself and looked to Pip. This situation was already becoming weirdly fanfic-y, so we may as well embrace it.

“Pip... you know we watched _Hercules_ like twelve times in your Greek mythology phase?” I asked and her eyes went wide. “What would you say to gender-swapped “I Won’t Say I’m In Love” – you as Meg, me as the Muses?”

She looked livid up close, but if she’d gone pink, the lights in our karaoke room washed her out. Sunil’s friends looked between each other with great intrigue and Rooney was very interested in a club night poster. “You know what, fine. But the next plaid I want to buy, you’re getting it. Or I’ll strangle you with it.”

She aggressively adjusted her slightly too big black leather jacket and Jason started the weird synth karaoke track. Pip immediately became Meg – normally she preferred plays to musicals, but her voice was actually really good, even if she was sort of angrily over-emphasising consonants. As the song went on, it became more like a conversation between the two of us. I could feel her frustration, mostly with herself – she fully embraced being a lesbian now, but I guess she still got caught up in the “in love with a straight girl” secondary school mindset. Not that I blamed her for that at all – straight girls can be and had been nasty to her in the past.

Although Rooney had been trying not to look at Pip, and vice versa, the glances they snuck at each other gave me butterflies on their behalf, especially when she finally reached the quieter, emotional ending and the whole room clapped and cheered.

“Thank you, beloved fans,” she spoke into the microphone. “Follow me on Instagram, @piparazzi guys. Uh, Rooney you haven’t done one yet, get up here.”

Rooney strode up to us, and the slight brush of hands that happened when Pip passed Rooney the mic made the others look at each other, like people on Tumblr in the notes about The Hand Flex from _Pride & Prejudice_ ( _2005)_.

“Hey, this is “Crush” by Tessa Violet, hope you like it!” she said and smiled. Her outfit was really iconic tonight: sleek white trousers, an off-the-shoulder frilly blue top with gold jewellery and strappy sandals. They made her a fair bit taller than normal, but Pip was wearing her chunky Doc Martins, so the height difference wasn’t more than normal. Not that that bothered Pip – she complained about “height-ism” a lot, but I knew she was secretly into it. I’d helped Rooney pack all her outfits while she swung between ranting about how nice Pip looked in her suit and tie at the most recent formal and asking if Pip would think she looked cute in whatever she just put in the bag.

It was fairly obvious that Rooney was addressing her song to Pip, so much so that Ellen whispered to Em in front of me. “You know what, I’m tempted to shove them in a room alone together and see what happens.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The karaoke session was very much inspired by Red, White and Royal Blue, love it so much!


	4. What I Need (Pip)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pip 🤝 her playlist  
> sad lesbian hours

Normally, if I were in a gay bar and they were blasting Hayley Kiyoko, I would be having the time of my life. Especially now we were actually somewhere with a pretty substantial (and more diverse) gay scene. Something felt off tonight though. A couple girls had tried to talk to me but gave up because of my crap conversation skills at the moment and Definitely Not staring at the dance floor to see Rooney and the others. Or Rooney dancing and having a good time with everyone around her.

Good for her – if she wasn’t straight, and this was her coming into her own about it and embracing it then I really was happy for her, because Lord knows that can be difficult. Maybe she just didn’t have a crush on me. Maybe she was still getting over some internalised homophobia or just not ready for a relationship.

I realised the song playing was “What I Need” and I was suddenly cast back to 2018, seeing the album cover for the first time in HMV and having a Moment, listening to the song on repeat after kissing Millie for the first time. I hoped desperately that if Rooney liked me, she would actually do something about – it’s not exactly like I’ve been especially subtle about my crush, even before the homoerotically charged karaoke session.

Was “Crush” about me? Not like I’ve thought about being serenaded by a girl a frankly embarrassing number of times – but this didn’t really count. She probably just really likes Tessa Violet or something.

The music switched to “Tainted Love”, and I suddenly felt the need to “run away” (or get some air at least), but outside the club I saw several couples either kissing or just enjoying each other’s company. I usually loved seeing other LGBT+ couples in real life, with there not having been many in rural Kent other than maybe a couple of teachers from a local grammar or something, but now my stomach just dropped a bit from envy. My excuse for not having had a girlfriend for my time in secondary school could be put down to lack of options, but now I was in university and everyone was hooking up with each other left right and centre I just felt a bit pathetic. Well not everyone. That’s not fair on Georgia and Sunil and their ace friends. Even so, I wanted it to be part of my university experience, and I wasn’t paying Durham nine grand a year to sadly pine.

“Penny for your thoughts?” I looked up from the spot I’d been staring at on the pavement to see Sunil strolling over to me, hands in the pockets of their beige cigarette trousers.

“Few pounds probably. You can PayPal me later” I laughed.

He caught my eye. “I know I’m Georgia’s college parent and we’ve got the ace thing in common, but you can still talk to me about stuff if you want to.”

I breathed heavily, grateful I hadn’t started crying yet. I wasn’t really a crying person, but I had had a couple shots before karaoke and that normally made me a bit emotional. “I’m fine. Totally brilliant. Just nervous about performing.”

“Well if you’re sure...” They hesitated for a second, then gave me a sympathetic arm pat. “It’ll be great, it’s always gone off well before, plus you and Rooney really are... charismatic together. When you get into it. Just relax and enjoy being there, with her, I guess.”

“Cheers, parent hen” I replied, ignoring the emphasis he placed on references to Rooney. “You know what? I think I’m gonna head back now and have a bath or something.”

Sunil raised an eyebrow but nodded. “Parent hen. Hm, I like that. See you later!”

The walk back to the hotel was about ten minutes, so I stuck “Watching My Phone” by King Princess on (off of my “sad lesbian hours” playlist) while wandering aimlessly down Leith Street. My plan for this evening was looking like a facemask, scrolling lesbian TikTok until I was exhausted and Not thinking about Rooney.

Which would be pretty solid if I hadn’t forgotten my key. Fuck.


	5. Ribs (Georgia)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College wives!!!
> 
> (the emojis didn't format well it's meant to be a rainbow flag and the Colombian flag :) )

It was a miracle I’d even felt my phone in my pocket while I was looking for a lip balm.

“Yo Pip! You alright?” I started making my way to the door so I’d hear her better.

“Um, shit, Georgia, I think I left my key in the room? So, like... would you come and let me in?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure, don’t worry, I was thinking of going back soon anyway. Be there in like 10 min.” I hung up and the screen showed a picture of Pip and I hugging at Durham Pride before it turned off.

I found the others quickly: Sunil drinking a virgin cocktail with Jason at the bar and Rooney and the others very much on the dance floor. She seemed concerned about Pip but was also quite drunk and got distracted by a Spice Girls remix, so I left her to it.

Not long later, I approached our hotel and saw Pip, perched on a wall and staring up at the sky. She turned round at my footsteps, took an earbud out and waved.

“Thank fuck Georgia, I was getting worried you’d gotten sucked into a Conga or something.”

“Not quite.” I grinned. “Couldn’t you have rung the doorbell to get in?”

“Still wouldn’t have been able to get into the room.” she shrugged. “Plus, I like looking up at the stars, makes me feel like I’m in lesbian _Ari & Dante_.”

“That would very much be the case if there wasn’t a ton of light pollution around here. Aren’t you a scientist?”

“Yeah, for like Biology, Chemistry and Earth Sciences!” Pip laughed. “I may be an astrology gay, but I didn’t hate myself enough to do Physics A Level.”

When we got back up to the room, Pip took off her jacket and threw herself face-first onto the bed. I plonked myself down next to her.

“What’s up?”

“Rooney” she groaned, her voice muffled by the duvet.

“Well yeah, she is pretty tall.”

In a feat of Gymnastics our old PE teacher would have been proud of, she twisted herself round and thumped me with a pillow. “You know what I mean. I did the ‘coming-out-in-rural-Kent’, this was supposed to be the easy bit!”

She sat up and put her head on my shoulder, so I moved my arm around to hug her. “I know it’s hard, but I’m sure you know by now living by other people’s standards of what is and isn’t supposed to happen, and when, is like, guaranteed to make you miserable. Plus, if anything, pining for someone and not knowing if they like you or not is a staple for nearly every romance. According to fanfic anyway.”

Pip breathed heavily for a few seconds and I felt a few tears seep into my top. “Fuck. This is only because I’ve been drinking, by the way. I’m refusing to cry about girls anymore.”

“Sure it is.” I passed her a tissue from my bag.

“When did you get so wise? Is the English Lit degree, ‘cos I know for a fact you never do all the reading.”

I swatted her with my hand. “Sunil. They’re a very calming influence.”

“Agreed.”

Pip flung herself back onto the bed like an Oscar Wilde character onto a divan. “I hate falling for straight girls.”

My stomach twisted for a second; Rooney being pan wasn’t my secret to tell, but she wasn’t really trying to hide it by now. “Has the thought crossed your mind that possibly Rooney is not actually straight?”

“Come on, Georgia.” Pip said, not looking away from one of the funny lumps on the ceiling. “If she wasn’t straight, I would know.”

“You thought _you_ were straight.” I said, raising an eyebrow, which made Pip splutter at me for a bit.

“Okay, touché, but my gaydar has massively improved since I was 15!”

I sighed. “Look. Dear Pip, oh platonic love of mine, I’m sure your gaydar is brilliant, but I’m also sure you’re equally aware that there isn’t one way to look or act or be queer. Maybe just talk to her about how you feel?”

Pip was now face-down into the pillow. “Can’t I just die via miscommunication like all the best Shakespeare characters?”

Raising an eyebrow, I replied. “As an English lit student, I can tell you for sure that while the miscommunication was fun for a bit, the relationships work _once_ they, you know, talk. For real. And tell the truth!”

“Give me one example of that actually working.”

“Benedick and Beatrice! Maybe you would notice that, if you actually read the text for GCSE rather than staring at Catherine Tate in a suit and making a Pinterest board of all Benedick’s outfits!”

Pip opened her mouth, then closed it again. “I make no apologies for that. Also, Miss F was the one who suggested that production so really, she’s to blame!”

“I’m sure she knew exactly what she was doing in showing you that. Ally of the year, truly.”

She nodded. We were silent for a minute before Pip sat up suddenly. “You know what, fuck this, no more being down, let’s get this show on the road, right let’s crank the tunes up everyone!”

Her impersonation of Gemma Collins was uncanny, but I shook my head. “You don’t want to talk about Rooney anymore?”

“No, I want to make a TikTok.” She opened up her page; @lesbianaenojada, with pip / 19 / 🏳️🌈🇨🇴 in her bio, plus, I noticed with a stab of pride, the quote “though she be but little she is fierce”. I’d seen that when we were reading through _A Midsummer Night’s Dream_ for the Year Ten production and descended into giggles with Pip when I pointed it out to her. “Hmm, what dance haven’t I subjected you to yet?”

She scrolled for a few moments, then picked out “Space Girl” by Frances Forever and tried, unsuccessfully, to teach me the dance to it. I couldn’t really dance, but that didn’t matter. Whether it was being each other’s coach partner on every school trip since Year Seven or sitting outside the exam hall together before GCSEs and holding hands for comfort, our friendship had never really changed, just evolved, and I wanted us to keep evolving together. College wives forever, hopefully.


	6. Talk Too Much (Pip)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pip and Rooney finally talk...

Waking up on the day of the play, I thanked God I had managed to go to bed and fall asleep before Rooney had got back. This was, however, quickly replaced with a feeling of panic: Rooney had rolled over onto me and her arm was resting on my waist. Fuck. I rescinded my thanks from God and tried to pick up her hand by the middle finger while shuffling out from under the duvet.

God clearly didn’t appreciate this, since at that moment, Rooney’s eyes opened. I dropped her hand like a hot potato and sprinted into the bathroom, forgetting that I had neither my glasses nor any clothes for the day ahead. Sheepishly, I shuffled back out, grabbed my things, snuck a glance at Rooney and her adorable bedhead, and vowed to pray extra hard in the shower that today would go better than it had started out.

After a particularly harsh line-grilling session from Rooney that morning, she allowed us a brief break before continuing rehearsals.

Georgia looked between the others, then said slyly “Anyone want to come with me to make a cup of coffee?” Jason and Sunil nodded – I tried to come with them, but Georgia was staring me down for some reason.

“You don’t want to stay here? I can grab you something” Her eyes flicked between Rooney and me.

“No, I’ll come with you.” I replied forcefully. Georgia raised her eyebrows and shrugged, but as we were leaving, she managed to slam the rehearsal room door shut on me and I heard a key turn.

I swear, I’m not normally this homicidal about my best friend, but she was testing me this week.

“¡Pucha! What the fuck are you doing?”

“We won’t be long!” Georgia said nonchalantly.

I sighed heavily and turned to Rooney. “Can you believe her-”

“Are you avoiding me?” she snapped, looking more nervous than I’d seen her even before the last time we performed our play. “This is weird and not ideal, but I’ve been trying to talk to you for a while, though you kind of try to leave every time, and if you don’t like me that’s fine, I just wish you’d tell me.”

The chestnut of her eyes softened a little and I sensed more vulnerability behind them than I ever had before. “Why do you think I’ve been avoiding you?”

“Every time we’re alone, you act like you’d rather be anywhere else! Like whenever we’ve been in the hotel room with just us, or when we were back in Durham and you wouldn’t talk to me whenever Georgia left the room!” she shouted and I went scarlet, trying to avoid her gaze. “Please, just tell me if you dislike me, I won’t be that offended.”

“I don’t, and I’m sorry for making you feel like that” My throat unstuck, despite my brain panicking more and more with every second. “I- what did you want to tell me?”

“Fuck it.” Rooney breathed deeply for a moment. “I like you, like in a more-than-friends way, and I wanted to tell you, but you’ve been making it fucking clear you don’t want anything to do with me, which I respect – but if you don’t want to be my girlfriend, I... don’t want to lose you as a friend as well.”

I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I’d be convinced she was joking if she didn’t look on the verge of crying. “But I thought you were-“

“Straight? Yeah, I’m sure you did, but I’m very much pansexual, and into you, so...” Every time she said that it felt more and more unreal.

“Me? Why?” I understood Benedick’s incredulity after hearing Beatrice liked him now.

She looked taken aback for a second then gestured to all of me. “How could I not? You’re-you’re incredible! I’ve never met anyone so funny, and you know so much about Science, and you’re passionate and you have the best hair and glasses. Also, you look really hot in a suit. Well in everything, but the suits really do it for me.” We stared at each other for a few moments, probably the longest time so far outside of acting without one of us avoiding looking at each other. “I’m sorry if this is gonna make things awkward, but I couldn’t do that final Beatrice and Benedick scene again without doing something about this-”

“I like you too!” My mouth had taken over before my brain had really thought this through. “And it was shitty of me to presume you’re straight. It’s just – we had this whole rivalry thing going on, and when I thought we had, like moments together, I thought I was making something going on between us up, or you were just flirting with me for a laugh, like the girls in secondary school-”

“I would never do that to you.” She took a tentative step towards me.

“Fuck, Rooney.” I suddenly realised tears had come to my eyes. “I feel like doing Shakespeare I should know some equally dramatic love-confession monologue in return but I kind of just want to make out with you right now.”

“I’m sure I’ve got a few more speeches tucked up my sleeve, if you want.”

“Please just shut up.” I pushed myself up onto my tiptoes and she bent down and _oh_. Everything faded away against Rooney and the vague wonder of why we hadn’t done this months ago. I can’t believe I ever doubted I was a lesbian, because _wow_.

I didn’t realise she had pushed me up against the door until it opened behind me – I would have fallen backwards into whoever there if Rooney hadn’t caught me on the way down. We gazed into each other’s eyes for a few moments as I heard someone behind us say “Nice!” and the sound of a high five.

Still dazed, I turned round to see Georgia, Sunil and Jason grinning broadly at us in the doorway.

“Sorry to interrupt!” she said breezily. “But the yelling stopped, so we were confused if you guys had, like, murdered each other or something.”

“No, we’ve, er, come to an agreement.” Rooney replied, and slid her hand down into mine. I know we had just been making out, but her fingers against mine evoked something very _Pride & Prejudice (2005) _in me.

Sunil clapped their hands together. “Right, well we’ve got a show to get ready for! Hopefully you can use this” (he gestured to us) “in your performance, because that final _Much Ado_ scene has really been lacking something!”

Our performance that day where Rooney and I kissed generated more applause from the audience than we’d ever heard, and we were all firmly agreed it was our best performance yet. The next day, as I woke up ready to return to Durham with the Shakespeare squad, and with Rooney’s arm on my waist, I figured this had been the best sleep I’d had in months too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've got this far thank you so much for reading and enjoying! This was so fun to write and I really love Pip/Rooney and their dynamic so keep an eye out for that - this tag is lacking a lot of classic fanfic tropes and I consider it my personal responsibility to fill the void!
> 
> My tumblr is @sunil-jha so follow me if you want and the playlist for the fic is here - all chapter titles come from it!  
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2LYBqf1bBZP3RAZDefTjWB?si=kuQ1ETTvTDuVCSe7TdjxNA
> 
> I love you! Hope you've drunk some water and told yourself you love yourself today!


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